I have never been ballsy. I never crossed the road without the green man, and still i will run even when i see i know it’s safe to walk slowly. I never really dare myself to try some new foods even my mom cooks it. Like so many people, I was comfortable. Always chasing safe. I have become so good at walls and barriers in the illusion of safety. But the walls and the barriers don’t keep danger away, they keep life away. Things don’t change until we do.
So I had to change. Because I wasn’t made for a life of fear, a life of watching where I walk, a life of looking down and not looking at the sky. I was made for leaping into life and all of its magic & surprises. Nothing in the world compares to living your freedom and knowing it’s scary but you are out here and you are doing it. I have surprised myself a lot. I have spent a lot of time on my own, out in the unknown doing things deemed unsafe. But I’m in a place I have never been before, doing things I have never done, feeling things I have never felt, my freedom is here in the flesh. I’m on a new level of life, that only came from releasing myself from the safety net I was captured in.
Safety is an illusion to keep you blind from being alive. We all want to be safe but no matter how any layers of bubble-wrap you cover yourself in, it’s never guaranteed. So you might as well make the jump from comfortable to where you actually want to be, despite the danger. Life was never made to be straight and narrow. It was meant to be wild and open to wherever you wanted to take it. You can walk through life with your eyes closed to the dark but you need to accept that you are closing your eyes on the light too. Life in comfortable, is accepting a medium level too. And if that’s all you want then yeah cool, enjoy it but there is so much world out there, so much life that you don’t know what you are wasting.
I can stand up and say that I actively chose my life. And I can say that I would do it a hundred times over. The path has been bumpy and uneasy sometimes but I don’t regret a single thing that has led me to liberation. Because this feeling of release, of power is the compass leading me in the direction of my soul. I’m proud of the person I have become because I had to fight to become her. I had to unravel the layers of my cocoon, so I could fly openly into the arms of freedom. Out into the beautiful world of unsafe.
Standing by himself,he was lost on the path.
Behind him menacing trees danced,blocking his way to go back home.
Shadows following on the path ahead,all he could hear was the wisdom he that he heard.
His last words floating around his head.
You’re going to get lost,you’re going to fall down.
You will be alone,you will be hungry.
You might miss home,you might be sad, you might be cold.
You will certainly make mistakes. You will certainly be sad.
The only way you will succeed is to wake up.
Step up,and move on.
When it’s dark, find the light.
When it’s cold, remember to fight.
When you’re lost, seek the familiar.
When you’re hungry, swallow your pride.
If you ever need me just look within,you have the strength.
Hardest part is to begin,and as his vision blurred he smiled wide.
It was all a test,there was no need to hid.
And as the path crunched beneath his sole,he knew left or right that would make him whole.
Mistakes and Adventures
What was it? A day we spent over a movie after another one.
What was it again? The mushroom soup you made and a bottle of coke.
What was it? Slept at 2 and woke up with headache, i guess i slept too long.
I miss you already.. Lets do it again.
With more days to come.. I don’t mind doing it everyday..
Because i miss you already.
How can i live without you? Oh i never wish that i will ever do that. I don’t know how to do that. How to wake up and not having you in my mind? How to go through a day without the thoughts of having you for the rest of the night? How to have a weekend and not planning things to do with you? How to drink coffee and not think about you? How to walk on the beach and not remember the days we did sunbathing? How to do it all again and not being with you? How to do things and not having you? As we done it all. Everything i love to do i did it with you.
But you said it well.. That we all have to do that.. because nothing and no one is permanent here. We all have to do that..
It’s late at night. Keep going, just keep going. Another day without a night
Just keep going.
All of my dreams were tossed,where much is given, much is lost,and money never covers cost
Just keep going.
I look, and see him sitting there.Get going now, get going. I stop and sit to stroke his hair.
As early comes another day. He sighs, and then he turns away,I think, and hope, he will be okay.
We do not know what is to come. Just keep going. And where and what will heal the numb. Just keep going.
But life is this: one dare, one chance,one spotlight on a single dance, and one way we must all advance,though when, there is no clue.
Just keep going. Though i admit i can’t live without someone i need.
You were a “maybe someday” thing,
And then, a one day thrice;
I knew you with your angel wings
And when you weren’t that nice —
I saw you with your layers peeled,
And every thought astray;
You had me as I really am,
But didn’t run away
I thought you were beyond my reach,
Or that I was too late:
But sometimes, “maybe someday” things
Turn into something
– Thanks to No Talent For Certainty –
There was a place and time
A place and time within ourselves
Within ourselves to see and know
To see and know adventure
Adventure on the sweeping sands
The sweeping sands the waves must press
The waves must press and alter to
And alter to forgotten shores
Forgotten shores where we come now
Where we come now to pass the light
To pass the light we lost
We lost the way
i don’t wanna go there. why you were there?
i can’t stomach the thought then i cried. When you are so close to my heart. You found your peace in someone else when i can only find mine in you. i started asking you question like.. no.. one question. why you did that in the first place? i never find the answer. but i’m here still. because the love is just too strong for me to let go. i’m holding on til one day you finally will be the one who says “i’m done”. Til then i’m here.