A Visit

Being here. Sitting on the ground. Touching the grass. It’s not that green.

I bought bunch of roses and stick it one by one to the grass.. I hope you like it. It’s my fave, though i know you’re not a fan of flowers. Still i bought them, and it’s for you. Because i want you to know that i’m always around. As i feel you around me. All the time.

I’m thinking about the days we spent together. Every laugh and every tears. Even when i was afraid that you will get mad over something. Now i can smile about and even cry about it. I’m sure you know i miss you. Not sure if you can really feel it but i’m sure you can see it. You can figure out if i’m happy down here. Maybe.. Not sure.

I’ve got this far. But i’m without you. I feel incomplete though. I had something to show you, i show it to you everyday. I know you got mad sometimes over what i did. But hey, i’ve changed a lot. You see it, right? I quit drinking, i quit smoking. For my own good. Well, you see it’s good, right?

You see all the time. But i can’t see you. That’s not fair you know. I wanna know how you look like now. I wanna see if you’re smiling there. Do you have a good bed to sleep at night? Do you have a TV to watch over soccer games? Hey, don’t eat too much durian ok.. You can share with me if you like though.. You know you always can.

Death ends life, not a relationship. I still have you.

I miss you, Papa.. We will talk again soon ok.. I will show you some photos when i come back. Take care ok.. Tell God i need a good dream tonight, and tell Him to put you in it.


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